I was tired last night. And I couldn’t really put my finger on what had worn me out.
I had gotten a good night’s sleep the night before (better than many nights over the past weeks) and my day hadn’t been very different than my days have been for the entire pandemic.
**** Quick recap of my "usual" day during this pandemic. (Who knows? Maybe it sounds like yours)...
Sound familiar?
So, maybe that's why I took such offense to the meme I saw recently on my instagram feed. Several people posted it. Have you seen it?
It starts with “You’re not overwhelmed, you’re just lazy” and then it goes on to say “get up earlier, work harder and so on and so forth”.
“I’m sorry…what now?”
“I’m just who?”
Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge proponent of self-responsibility. I love knowing my power and that the buck stops with me. I love getting up early and checking things off my “to-do” list.
I also know, however, how important it is to acknowledge the STRESS that we (especially women and especially mothers) have been (and continue to be) feeling during (shall I call it what it is?) "the CRAZY-ASS TIME that we are living through" and that the stress of it all CAN feel overwhelming!
We need to acknowledge it. We need to feel it. And we need to know that we are not in this alone.
What we are in, is NOT of our making, What we are in, is NOT our faults — oh, we’ll figure out how to survive it because that’s what we do, but we will NOT --(hear me loud and clear!) -- We will NOT shake our fingers at ourselves and call ourselves LAZY!
• Not when we have been literally holding our lives together in an INTENSELY intense way over the past 18 months!
• Not when we have been doing everything we can to keep ourselves and our families physically and mentally healthy throughout a confusing and conflicting ("crazy-ass") time.
• Not when we have been taxed with cooking and cleaning and caring for our loved ones and remote working and remote schooling and now (as our children go back to “in person” school) juggling a slew of other challenges, emotions, and fears.
I know we never know what’s coming tomorrow, (life is built that way) but that truth feels more palpable than ever before as the news (and social media) is constantly telling us something ELSE we need prepare for!
Something ELSE that is going to turn our world’s upside down.
Something ELSE that we’re going to be taxed with fixing.
And the uncertainty of it all can feel... overwhelming.
My Process:
I do my best to feel my feelings -- all of them -- without judgment or shame.
Early in the pandemic, I read a book by Glennon Doyle titled UnTamed. I loved it. I mean…I really LOVED it and told everyone I could to read it. And now I'm telling you... READ IT! :-)
In it, she has a story called Feelings. A year ago, I posted myself reading it on Instagram.
Try this:
Today (and every day) give yourself space to FEEL what you are feeling. No judgment. No shame. No holding it in. Admit that you're tired if you're tired. Admit that you're scared if you're scared. Admit that you're feeling overwhelmed if you're feeling overwhelmed.
You are NOT lazy. You are human. You are trying. You are SURVIVING and you are doing really, really, REALLY well during a really, really REALLY CRAZY-ASS time.
So today (and every day as far as I'm concerned) take care of you. Love you. Soothe you. Give yourself a hug.
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Until then...
May THE FORCE WITHIN be with you!
Rhonda Ross is a singer-songwriter, an Emmy-nominated actress, and a Personal Power Practitioner. For musical, speaking or workshop bookings: email info@TheRhondaRoss.com
